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  1. #1

    Default What's your funniest thing that happened on a trip to Couples?

    Not having a fun day at work and I could use some funny stories!! What's the funniest thing you saw/had happen on a trip to Couples?

    I'll start (but it's not all that funny):
    At COR we hung out with another couple and stayed up very, very late in the piano bar. One night, the bartender (name long forgotten) got tired of standing while waiting for us to order drinks and sat down in one of the lounge chairs. Soon he was asleep!! We piled all the empty glasses from the bar on the table in front of him and took a few pictures. And we served drinks to a couple people that came in!!! Then we woke the poor guy up and helped him clean up, so he was all set when the supervisor came around.

  2. #2


    Here's one, if this thread takes off I have another.

    We boarded for the cat cruise and found a nice seat with our friends and ordered up some rum punch. We set sail and about half way out the wind began to pick up. Mrs. dirtleg was wearing a visor with some sort of logo or something on it and it began to catch the wind. She was doing a good job of holding it down with one hand while holding her drink in the other. Soon after getting a refill on her rum punch a gust came up and grabbed her visor before she could get her hand on it. As the visor began to go airborne she made a reflexive grab with both hands to catch it. She caught the visor but came up with an empty hand where her drink had been. She began to look about to see where she had dropped her drink, but she had not dropped it. She had flung it over her shoulder when she reached for the visor. As we looked behind us here was this poor woman with an entire cup of rum punch all over her. Mrs. dirtleg was completely mortified at what she had done and apologised profusely, almost in tears. Fortunately the woman had a wonderful sense of humor and took no offense to being doused with rum punch. Mrs. dirtleg refrained from further drinking on that particular cruise. I'm sure she will be reminded of this incident in June when we return to CSA.

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    We were staying at Swept Away in a first floor Garden Verandah Suite, corner room. My husband wanted to leave the verandah doors open with just the sheer curtain pulled closed, he wanted to hear the ocean and tree frogs, we went around and around, I really was not comfortable leaving the door open. I finally gave in and thought to myself, when he falls asleep I'll close the doors. As we lay there, me closest to the doors, patiently waiting for him to fall asleep, I hear his breating change, a little bit of a snore start, and then I hear a noise by the open door----now just imagine, I am blind as a bat and of course do not have my glasses on in bed, but i figure if there is someone on the verandah I will be able to see the outline through the sheer curtain----I look up and of course there is nothing, then just when I am ready to close the door my darling turns over, so I wait a few more minutes----and hear a noise, like someone is now trying to get into the front door, wait a few more minutes, get up and close the door---finally I can lay down and go to sleep.
    A few minutes go by---I now hear a noise in the bathroom, jeez is this gonna stop or what? So I get up, go into the bathroom, flip the light and from behind the toilet comes this HUGE coconut land crab!!! He must have come up the verandah and just been wandering around the room. As you can imagine I let out a scream, woke my husband, he came running bare a naked, and now had to deal with getting rid of this thing. In the middle of everything I made him get the camera and take pictures! We finally got it into the trash can and outside, then I made my DH look in every nook and cranny of the room to make sure none of his buddies were left behind. Needless to say unless we are on the second floor or higher the door stays shut!

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    Wow....beachsam....great story! I will remember that because I had a crab traumatize me...We had been in the Piano Bar at CN and had a few(?) drinks. Walking back to Building 8, kinda late and slow, just enjoying the sights and sounds, holding hands and walking along. I looked up on the path in front of us and there was something there, quickly scooting into the growth alongside of the path. I thought it was a large toad/frog. We walked up slowly and I watched it go in, turn around and sit there....claws out so I could see them. I made several exclamations and I don't know if he was as scared of me as I was of him, but every night after that when we walked back,especially near that spot....I kept my eyes peeled, thinking he was going to get me eventually. My husband still thinks I'm crazy....Didn't think I was afraid of crabs but I think he was HUGE in my mind and gets bigger and bigger every time I tell the story...he was THIS big (can you see my hands?) LOL....

  5. #5


    A couple of years ago while at CN we were at the Saturday night International Buffet which as you know is held outside. It was a very warm night and I told my husband I would go to get the sushi for both of us. My girlfriend Julie and I were walking to get the sushi but she stopped elsewhere and I went to the sushi table. As I said it was a very warm night and there on top of the table was a big beautiful ice sculpture. I was the only one at the table and as I took the sushi from the table.. CRASH. The ice sculpture came crashing down all over the place (thankfully no one got hurt)and I am standing there holding my plate of sushi and my good friend Julie yells out " Lisa why did you go and knock that down" Of course everyone was now looking and laughing. I really didn't knock it down it just melted to the breaking point and I was the one standing there went it collapsed. It was pretty funny but now my husband goes up to get the sushi.

  6. #6


    HAHA - that is something I would totally do! Love it!!

  7. #7


    First time to CN, so excited, just had a wonderful exciting day, and lay down in our beautiful room, just all giddy from the new EVERYTHING!!!
    Its dark, both trying to fall asleep, and we hear a thumping, thump, thump…we both are” what the “H” was that. So, we decide, it’s a new place, new country, just go to sleep, but then again, thump, thump, so now we are getting worried…what it could be.
    Almost scarred to turn the lights on, we do, and look up at the ceiling fan, to find the largest Moth we have ever seen in our lives! This poor thing was trying to get out, and kept hitting the fan.
    So now we don’t quite know what to do, and thank goodness for the long red pillow, that helped us shoooo it out the sliding door.
    Don’t mean to keep up the post of critters in Jamaica, but hey, in Michigan our moths are pretty small competitively.
    Been back 4 other times, and next week again, so no worries

  8. #8


    Our first trip to CN we took Air Jamaica Shuttle to Negril
    we are at the Negril airstrip waiting for the Couples Shuttle( little did we know we could have walked across the street to CN --First trip !!!)leaning against a park car and a man came up to me and I thought he said "are you a Pharmacist???" ( I am a pharmacist at home) well I said "Yes, I am pharmacist" thinking , maybe I had a hat or shirt from my college on or a drug company logo somewhere( yes, I had a few Red strips on the flight)
    now he says " I am a pharmacist" well I think maybe we have mutual friends in pharmacy and I ask where he went to school, what pharmacy does he work in,,,,,my wife slaps me up the side of the head and says " Honey, he is a PHARMACIST, you are going to get us arrested" little did I know a LOT of people in Jamaica make a living in the Pharmaceutical buisness. She still laughs a lot and tells that story from 10 years ago

  9. #9


    Not once but twice!

    We were at CTI for our first anniversary after getting married at CN the prior year. Anyway, we had a wonderful 3rd floor oceanside room. We returned to the room after a day at the beach and my wife went out to the balcony. she rested her arms on the railing and looked around. Turns out, the couple in the room next to us was "celebrating" their love for each other. We got a kick out of it and then we got inspired. What a great afternoon.

    The next day, we were on the lawn playing shuffleboard. Suddenly, we HEARD another couple enjoying the afternoon. Actually, we just heard her. We looked up at the building and saw several rooms with their balcony doors open. We also saw another couple on their balcony who heard the same commotion. They looked at us to make sure we knew it wasn't them and we all laughed.

    Couples is such a great place! Love is everywhere! I think that is why we are returning to Couples for our 4th visit and will be there again next year for our 5th anniv.

  10. #10


    Dirtleg...I forgot about Mrs Dirtlegs hat and rum punch, that was so funny. We'll have to see if we can recreate that this June. turn.

    I'm taking a shower in my Atrium room when I look up and see this lizard sitting on the top edge looking down at me. I start to panic and then I told him (yes I actually talked to him) "Ok MR Lizard I see you, just stay where you are and we'll both be ok". So that worked for a few minutes till he leaned to far over and fell into the bottom of the shower with me. So now I panic. Hubby is at the gym and I want this guy out of the shower. I turn off the water, didn't want to drown him and grab a towel. I get him out of the shower with help of the bath mat and then I think....I dont' want him in the room; I have to get him out the door. So I prop the door open, grab my hubbys flip flop and start tapping the ground behind the lizard to guide him out the door. So I'm bent over, towel around me shampoo in my hair, door open to my room, flip flop in hand, talking to a lizard and look up just in time to see a couple dressed for dinner standing there watching me. All I could say was "There was a lizard in my shower!" Then much later the vendors were outside of The Palms after dinner and what did he have...a little wood lizard that I bought and now he sits on my shower ledge every day. It was so funny.....only myself, the lizard the couple don't know got to laugh at my expense.

  11. #11


    Back in January 2007 I believe it was, @CSA...My wife and I were relishing the catamaran cruise to the cliffs and enjoying conversation with some folks from AK. who had been to CSA like 10 years in row and this time brought family, one being the father named Woody(hi Woody) who I was chatting with.

    Well we get to the cliffs, rum punch flowing stories shared laughing...then all of a sudden to our left we hear all this noise...cheering hollering and what pulls up right next to our boat?? The spirited folks from a resort where clothing and "public relations" are optional...and man did they want to be noticed! So you have like 3/4 of our boat rush to the left side to get a look/pic or two and the other 1/4 of our folks rush to the right side wanting no part of the "action" taking place.

    This was a culture "opportunity" for most of us and the conversation got lively and the bar got busyer-er-er. HAHA...and Woody goes "hell i'm old but not dead, that was nice"...and I said lets have another rum punch i'm buying!

    That was a funny memory we will not soon forget.

  12. #12


    Ok here it goes...
    We were at CN in 2002 (it was our 3rd trip to a Couples Resort). We had brought another couple with us on this trip. The 4 of us were sitting at the beach bar at about 3 pm and let's just say, we'd been enjoying the bars for some time :-)
    Anyway, we were discussing music with one of the bartenders when the wife of the second couple says "Does Bob Marley ever play here???".... :-O
    The bartender stops what he's doing, grinning and says "what?" and then she repeats her question...."Does Bob Marley ever play here???" In the meantime, what she has asked has soaked into the 3 of us and we try to stop her from asking again... I swear, it seemed like slow motion!
    The bartender absolutely fell apart laughing and had to sit down to compose himself. She looked at us and said, "So, he doesn't ever play here?"
    I still laugh when I think about it!!

  13. #13


    OK... my turn...

    About 6 or 7 years ago, we were at the guest and guest relations talent show at the Palms of SweptAway. We were really enjoying the show! Afterwards, Exodus cranked up the tunes, and suddenly, Alex Fab grabs me, drags me onto the stage, flops a rasta-wig on my head, and suddenly he and I and someone else from guest relations are belting out Marley tunes!

    I looked down at the dance floor and it was packed... including Lee & Jane Issa. What a fun time that was! ;-)

    "In an abundance of water, the fool is thirsty..." - Bob Marley - "Rat Race"

  14. #14


    On our first trip to CN we enjoyed the trip over to Margaritaville with a full bus. Well, my wife and I enjoy having fun so we both entered the mens and womens contests (no couples this time). She won the dance contest. After she broke her bathing suit top (She had a tshirt on as well) and threw it in the crowd she dropped her pants in the finals (but did have her g's on under). I was in the scavanger hunt and had to get things from the crowd...One couple in particular guided me to the win by providing me with condoms and women's panties not my wife's to mention a few. After that we met another couple and got pretty drunk with them. On the bus ride home they sat by us when they realized they were on the wrong bus. So, since we were having such a good time, when we got back we went to eat and gave another couple's name and room number for them so they could eat with us. We ended up partying until about 3:00 in the morning when we put them in a cab back to CSA. Everyone should enjoy couples to the fullest.....

  15. #15


    Quote Originally Posted by Ashley View Post
    . . . . "Does Bob Marley ever play here???" . . . .
    Of course he does. The resort usually tries to book him and Elvis for the same week.
    I know everything, and I'm always right (just ask my husband).

  16. #16


    While I was just down at the resorts for work, it was amazing, Elvis, Hendrix, and Marley performed cool ( :
    Romance Rewards and Preferred Agency Program
    Couples Resorts!

  17. #17


    We were drinking late in the Aura Lounge and when we left to go back to our room, we got lost and couldn't find it. All the Atrium buildings look alike and we wandered around the grounds for 30 minutes looking for our room. One lady with us started getting upset and cried because she had to pee so bad, she ended up wetting her pants. We finally found our rooms but not before an embarrassing accident.

  18. #18


    OK, my second story.

    On our first trip to CSA we had dinner at the old Feathers in the sports complex building. We ordered dinner and mrs. dirtleg ordered the pumpkin soup because we had read on the message board about how good it was. I don't know if this is still the case, but at that time the soup was served in a hollowed out coconut shell. Mrs. dirtleg thought this was just a wonderful way to serve soup. She enjoyed the soup very much and finished down to the bottom of the bowl, or shell. I had looked away at something that had distracted me and when I looked back she was poking at the bowl with her spoon and looking very perplexed. I asked what she was doing and she said "I want to eat the bowl". I said "What? You can't eat the bowl!" She thought that it was like when french onion soup is served in a bread bowl, she thought she could eat the coconut. We both broke out in a full, out loud, belly laugh and laughed till we had tears in our eyes. Everyone around us, all very proper and enjoying the formal atmosphere of Feathers, stared at us like we were crazy. Which only made us laugh more. Our waiter came over to see what the commotion was all about and when we told him what had happened he began to crack up also. The folks at the next table heard our explanation to the waiter and they began laughing as well. Within a couple of minutes the place sounded like a comedy club after a good joke. I guess the story got around. We managed to finally collect our selves and behaved the rest of the evening.

    Needles to say, when ever she orders soup to this day I remind her not to eat the bowl. It still cracks us up.

  19. #19


    While I was more of an observer, I remember one of the funniest things. A few years ago we were at CN in Dec {as usual} with the friends we meetup with. We were drinking at the swimup bar and in the pool well after dark with our Santa hats on. There were about 10 or 12 of us. Some of us finally got hungry and decided to go get showered for dinner. A couple of hours later, we come down and some of our friends had decided to just stay in the pool and keep drinking. It was International Night and all the food was set up around the pool and all the people looking so nice were walking around. And there at the end of the pool were our very intoxicated friends trying to sing {way off key} the 12 days of Christmas, bickering back and forth about the lyrics. People were stopping and yelling the correct items that went with which day. Of course the drunk carolers forgot immediately. It was pricelss and you know who you were if you are reading this. I miss all of you, though.

  20. #20


    We had been partying one afternoon at the CN pool bar and I needed to go to the room to get something. Our room was in Bldg.5. I ran around the back sidewalks and put my key in the door of the room and it opened and I ran into the room and plopped onto a bed and found a strange guy sleeping in it!! I screamed and jumped up but he never moved! I looked around the room and I didn't recognize the clothes and realized I was in the wrong room! We were staying in Bldg.5 and I was in Bldg. 4. The guy never knew he had a visitor and I wondered why my key worked in that room!!

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  22. #22


    Hey Bearso... I keep waiting for one of us to post about the ladies trying to find white wine down seven mile beach...

  23. #23


    Last year when we visited CSA there were some technical difficulties with the amp at the piano bar one evening. Ulti had someone come up to take a look at it and when they opened up the back of the amp they discovered that a small lizard had taken refuge there and had caused the amp to short out. Jodie (from Entertainment) was there with us that evening and was not impressed upon seeing the lizard. Ulti told us that Jamaican women do not like lizards and it became quite a topic of discussion. Well, upon returning to our room that night, low and behold we had a lizard who had decided to spend some time on the ceiling just above our bed! I was quite reluctant to enter the room and my hubby had to coax the visitor off the ceiling. He had quite a time doing this. Let's just say Canadian women are not exactly willing to share their space with lizards either!

  24. #24


    Love all the stories ........ VERY FUNNY!

    Not sure I should be the one telling this since it is not that flattering to me but ........... here goes.

    We had made several friends at CN & were in the pool, as usual, in the afternoon yakking back & forth after way too many of those great alcoholic beverages ........... when I tell them that Hubby has been teasing me that the manager has called him to tell him that his wife is eating way more than is expected for any guest so they are sorry but they are going to have to add a surcharge on our bill to help offset this added expense. Well, Hubby says that I've been eating so much that I must have a "wooden" leg. Everyone is kind of looking bewildered so I tell them ............... "He means a "HOLLOW" leg". It's sad isn't it???? I had to be teased all the rest of the week about having a "wooden" leg.

  25. #25



    I was thinking about writing that one up but the details are kinda fuzzy. Seems to me that we were going from bar to bar along the beach west of CSA with the guys, you me and Mike drinking mostly beers and mixed drinks while the ladies kept looking for some white wine...We were telling them "It is not a good idea to drink wine at these places" Well finally we came upon a beach bar that said "White wine? NO PROBLEM My Lady" So the bar keep reached under the counter and pulls out this dusty old bottle of white wine, blows off the dust and cracks it open. I can see the cork just fall apart as she is pulling it out. She pours (I think) three glasses one for each Marybeth, Lew and Patty. I was giggling to myself because I knew that "wine" was going to taste like dog whizz. So as one might expect, the girls start asking each other, "Does this wine taste O.K. to you?" sip, sip, sip, "No I tastes off somehow..." "Here Barry taste this it seem to be off." I'm going "No way!" It is like someone tasting sour milk and then seeing if they can get someone else to taste it to confirm. Anyway after drinking about a glass each, they can't drink any more "wine" and we wander off down the beach back to CSA all the while the girls are going "That was the worst wine I have ever had" "I will never drink wine at a beach bar again" Later on I think they all got sick and were kinda GREEN the rest of the day.... The moral of the story is "DON"t DRINK WINE AT A JAMAICAN BEACH BAR!!!" At least that is the way I remember it... What is your version of the story?...I may have missed some of the more funny parts, afterall, I had been drinking. I also think there was a bar that was covered with Sexual Aids on the wall, some VERY large...was that the same bar????

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