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  1. #1

    Default Just Curious, Don't Shoot the Messenger....

    My wife and I have a friend who just went through a difficult divorce. She is a wonderful, fun loving gal who might just enjoy a trip to Jamaica. She has other good friends surrounding her, so it's possible another lady friend would want to join her as a "couple". As it regards the resort, and especially the Au Naturel area, is it frowned on if the couple is not romantically linked, and it happens to be two women? I would think the AN area might benefit from additional females rather than extra guys running around, but I don't pretend to know the rules.

    So would this be cool or is it a strict no-no? Either way, my wife and I are definitely looking forward to CSS, but if this arrangement would ruffle feathers, we would not ask our friend to go. In case you wondered, she is not ready for a romantic relationship just yet.

    Thanks for any advice.

  2. #2

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    dsolid15, thank you for being considerate and asking. This topic has come up in the past, and the majority have frowned upon friends going as couples. Couples caters to those couples who are romantically involved and the influx of singles does change the ambiance, even if those singles are not trying to hook up with anybody. And while I understand that your intentions are good, as were many others who have asked this same question, it is a slippery slope if guests begin creating "exceptions to the rule."

    My advice would be for her to check into the other fine Jamaican adults-only resorts that don't cater exclusively to romantic couples.


    Last edited by jamaican_junkie; September 26th, 2014 at 12:34 PM.

  3. #3

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    Well, technically a couple is 2 people. Many here feel that a couple should be romantically inclined in order to keep the Couples vibe be it MF or MM or FF. As far as the rules go, I think a couple is a couple defined by 2 people equate to a couple. YMMV. MY personal opinion is she may well not like it at all since she may well feel left out with all the hand holding and hugging and the general romantic vibe that naturally exudes at these resorts.

  4. #4

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    Thanks for all the respectful replies. I understand where everyone is coming from and don't want to rock the boat. Too bad though, besides being a very nice person and fun to be around, she is a very attractive natural beauty. Hey, maybe she will come around to getting a boyfriend before our trip!

  5. #5

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    A couple of years ago when we were at CSS, there was two sisters that came to the resort. We met them at SSB, and if they had not told us during a conversation that they were sisters on a vacation, we probably would not have known. However, I agree with Bearso, I am not sure she would enjoy it since the vibe is more a romantic vibe.
    Linda

  6. #6

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    Conflicted here. Agree with Jamaican Junkie that it creates a slippery slope. That being said I also agree with Bearso that a couple is a couple and that could mean that they are just BFFs (as my kids would say). The resorts already allow "Couples" who may not be romantically inclined as part of wedding parties. As such, while our personal draw to Couples is the fact that the majority of the guests are there for the same reason we are, i.e. to be with our significant other in paradise, I think as long as respect is understood, a couple is a couple.

    (Hopefully this doesn't start WWIII)

    Kurt and Angela
    CN 2011, 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017
    CSS 2014, 2016, 2017

  7. #7

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    Dsolid15,
    Truly, you cannot tell by looking whether a couple are friends or lovers. Some married couples are no more than friends. Some non-married couples are great lovers, but not friends. If this women and her friend go as a couple, and just tell people at the AN beach they are a couple, with no details (which is nobody's business anyway) there should be no problems. From my six years to CSS SSB, I can say I have seen very few PDAs on the beach, and when they did occur, everyone else was a little uncomfortable. There is no obvious lovers vibe at SSB, just a lot of couples socializing and having a fun time. I support the situation you proposed.

  8. #8

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    Depends on how attractive they are! LOL Seriously though, I agree with Bearso.
    CSS 5/21-5/31/13
    CSS 4/12-4/24/15




  9. #9

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    The resort will let any two people register for a room together regardless of sex - they don't ask questions (which is the right thing to do)

    As for AN - the "friends" would have to go together, people will assume they are at least "friends with benefits" - if others find out they're not, they might ask them to leave.

    But honestly - unless you're going around announcing to everyone that they're "just friends" - or being a general nuisance then I doubt anyone will know or care.

    They're two people, they're naked, they arrive and stay together - probably no problem.

    But I have to agree with bearso - will they really have a good time so soon after a divorce?

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bearso View Post
    Well, technically a couple is 2 people. Many here feel that a couple should be romantically inclined in order to keep the Couples vibe be it MF or MM or FF. As far as the rules go, I think a couple is a couple defined by 2 people equate to a couple. YMMV. MY personal opinion is she may well not like it at all since she may well feel left out with all the hand holding and hugging and the general romantic vibe that naturally exudes at these resorts.
    That's rather a stretch. If you read or experience anything about Couples Resorts, you know what version of "couple" they are referring to.

    If you want to get "technical", then I should be able to rent a room for a "couple" of goats.

  11. #11

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    I'm hoping it is any Couple. Then I can go down with six or eight of my guy freinds and hit on all the naked ladies.

  12. #12

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    As long as they were respectful I don't have a problem with it.

    I'll be staring at my wife, not worrying about how other people are spending their vacation. Maybe as a newbie to AN I'm a little more open minded (naive even, haha) heading into it and my views will change after my first time.

    I guess I just subscribe to the you're on vacation vibe, have fun and don't worry what other people think.

    I'm not really sure it's anyone's place to say what people can and cannot do. Sometimes I get the feeling that people get a bit too consumed with others ruining the AN scene when it might not be an issue at all.

    Maybe I'm seeing it through rose coloured glassed. Hoards of singles hooting and hollering and being degrading by checking everyone out, making comments or trying to pick up would be one thing (though, since it's a Couples resort, I highly doubt it would ever be packed with singles anyway).

    But two friends - in this case the women mentioned - should, IMO, be allowed to enjoy the AN side just as much as anybody as long as they are, as mentioned, respectful. Same rules apply for romantic couples.

    Really, is anyone going to get up and march over to two well behaved vacationers and say "take a hike?" I sure wouldn't. I'd hate if someone who really wanted to try AN didn't get the chance of doing it on a well deserved vacation.

    It just seems so ironic to me that most AN folks promote so much understanding and make you feel so welcome yet at the same time some don't embrace everyone.

    Anyway, enough of my ranting lol. I guess this is just my way of saying, the scenario laid out wouldn't bother me and I would welcome them. So not everyone would be against the idea of your friends hitting the AN side.

  13. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by tremolo View Post
    as long as they were respectful i don't have a problem with it.

    I'll be staring at my wife, not worrying about how other people are spending their vacation. Maybe as a newbie to an i'm a little more open minded (naive even, haha) heading into it and my views will change after my first time.

    I guess i just subscribe to the you're on vacation vibe, have fun and don't worry what other people think.

    I'm not really sure it's anyone's place to say what people can and cannot do. Sometimes i get the feeling that people get a bit too consumed with others ruining the an scene when it might not be an issue at all.

    Maybe i'm seeing it through rose coloured glassed. Hoards of singles hooting and hollering and being degrading by checking everyone out, making comments or trying to pick up would be one thing (though, since it's a couples resort, i highly doubt it would ever be packed with singles anyway).

    But two friends - in this case the women mentioned - should, imo, be allowed to enjoy the an side just as much as anybody as long as they are, as mentioned, respectful. Same rules apply for romantic couples.

    Really, is anyone going to get up and march over to two well behaved vacationers and say "take a hike?" i sure wouldn't. I'd hate if someone who really wanted to try an didn't get the chance of doing it on a well deserved vacation.

    It just seems so ironic to me that most an folks promote so much understanding and make you feel so welcome yet at the same time some don't embrace everyone.

    Anyway, enough of my ranting lol. I guess this is just my way of saying, the scenario laid out wouldn't bother me and i would welcome them. So not everyone would be against the idea of your friends hitting the an side.
    well stated tremolo!!
    Gene and Jeanne
    CSS October 2012, 2013, 2014, 2016, 2017
    CSS/CTI October 2018

  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by VaCouple View Post
    Depends on how attractive they are! LOL Seriously though, I agree with Bearso.
    Haha, well our friend is, for lack of a better term, smoking hot, so maybe she gets a pass...) Seriously, I appreciate everyone's viewpoints on this thread. Appears to be a gray area with feelings both ways. Like I said, I'm not one to force a controversy, so we would probably not invite her. As several have said, she might not even be comfortable vacationing at a "romantic" couples resort. I certainly wouldn't want to do anything that might upset a really good vibe.

    Regardless, looking forward to possibly meeting some of you in 2015 and enjoying the AN experience, which will be a first for my wife and me. Thanks for all your help!

  15. #15

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    Quote Originally Posted by dsolid15 View Post
    My wife and I have a friend who just went through a difficult divorce. She is a wonderful, fun loving gal who might just enjoy a trip to Jamaica. She has other good friends surrounding her, so it's possible another lady friend would want to join her as a "couple". As it regards the resort, and especially the Au Naturel area, is it frowned on if the couple is not romantically linked, and it happens to be two women? I would think the AN area might benefit from additional females rather than extra guys running around, but I don't pretend to know the rules.

    So would this be cool or is it a strict no-no? Either way, my wife and I are definitely looking forward to CSS, but if this arrangement would ruffle feathers, we would not ask our friend to go. In case you wondered, she is not ready for a romantic relationship just yet.

    Thanks for any advice.
    dsolid15, how sure are you that your "wonderful, fun loving gal who just went through a difficult divorce" wants to go to a romantic, couples resort in Jamaica? Your posting sounds like it is more an idea of yours than hers. A kind thought to be sure, but I have to agree with bearso that she may feel a bit like a fish-out-of water. And what of the other "lady friend" who might want to join her. Would she be comfortable on a nude beach at a romantic couples resort? A few years back I enjoyed a morning routine of walking the resort with a female guest who was part of a same sex couple. I don't know whether they were friends, lovers or associates. I did not ask, and it did not matter to me. They were repeat guests and clearly both were very comfortable being there. They did not go to Sunset Beach but the vibe there that year was very relaxed as it usually is, so I doubt that would have caused a problem. So, no problem, mon, for me. But be careful not to push someone into something that could exacerbate their difficult time.

    Also, after you visit Sunset Beach the concept of "additional females rather than extra guys running around" will no longer make sense to you.

    One Love! I know you will enjoy CSS with or with out your dear friend.

  16. #16

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    I'm sorry but I just don't understand this. Any women that I know that went thru a divorce wheather happy or sad (happy that she is divorced would never want to go to a Couples only resort she would want to go to a place where there are single men - sad that she is divorced the last place she would want to be is a place with all couples that would only make her more sad). You are saying that it's possible she may bring a lady friend, well what if she doesn't (she can't come as a single). You also say that the AN area might benefit from additional females - why would they when they are all couples, are you trying to say that the men would like it. I don't know maybe there is more to this story then what is being told.
    Dianavr

  17. #17

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    dsolid15

    Couples Resorts are really, really romantic places. I don't think it would be much of a big deal to most guests if you and your friend went to the resort, however, pretty much the only time non-partners seem to be there is when it is for a wedding (as guests). Everything about Couples is about couples; connecting and reconnecting with a partner. Just my two cents, but if I just went through an ugly divorce, the last place I'd want to be would be at a private resort with nothing but completely in-love, googly-eyed, twitterpated couples of all ages. It just seems like the wrong place at the wrong time. Couples is beautiful, and a wonderful place, but maybe she should save her trip to Couples until after she has someone new in her life. There are so many great resorts all over the Islands catering mainly to adults, but few geared specifically toward couples. Not sure, but for this trip she might have a better time at one of the others.

  18. #18

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    JJ, Silly rabbit, you know goats don't have the money to rent a room. That being said, I was factually correct and explaining how things have worked in our experience. We have seen many friend or relatives staying at Couples. Complain all you want but "Facts are facts".

  19. #19

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    From the Couples philosophy:

    "Without distraction, crowds, children or schedules, our “couples only” philosophy translates into pure romance from the moment you arrive."

    Not sure that any couple of people is what Couples is catering to, by this statement. Sure it's a great place, and for us, the reason we we choose Couples is because it's for couples who are romantically involved. There we can truly relax, no kids no singles. There is also a very different vibe, an ambiance there because it is couples only compared to an adult only resort. Sure they do allow singles ( my interpretation of "single" would be someone not romantically involved with someone else at the resort) for weddings, and that's fine. But Couples is for couples IMO. Would it bother me if your friends were there??? Simple answer, no.
    But it is like putting an orange in an apple basket. Just don't belong.
    On the other side, I'm not sure how your friends would feel about being pretty much the only single people there. Being recently divorced and not wanting any type of relationship right now, it may not help spending a week with mostly couples. Heartache from divorce lingers for quite some time, as many of us have experienced. When My ex and I split, hanging around with couples was one thing I was not fond of.
    If I wanted to spend a week at a resort with singles, I'd go to and adult only resort, not Couples, and save a lot of money.

  20. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by fabfifty View Post
    dsolid15, how sure are you that your "wonderful, fun loving gal who just went through a difficult divorce" wants to go to a romantic, couples resort in Jamaica? Your posting sounds like it is more an idea of yours than hers. A kind thought to be sure, but I have to agree with bearso that she may feel a bit like a fish-out-of water. And what of the other "lady friend" who might want to join her. Would she be comfortable on a nude beach at a romantic couples resort? A few years back I enjoyed a morning routine of walking the resort with a female guest who was part of a same sex couple. I don't know whether they were friends, lovers or associates. I did not ask, and it did not matter to me. They were repeat guests and clearly both were very comfortable being there. They did not go to Sunset Beach but the vibe there that year was very relaxed as it usually is, so I doubt that would have caused a problem. So, no problem, mon, for me. But be careful not to push someone into something that could exacerbate their difficult time.

    Also, after you visit Sunset Beach the concept of "additional females rather than extra guys running around" will no longer make sense to you.

    One Love! I know you will enjoy CSS with or with out your dear friend.
    Obviously the idea is not our friends at this point, because we haven't even asked her. If you want to know the God's honest truth, my wife wanted me to post this question because she is very nervous to try an Au Naturel beach and thought it would help her ease into things if a good friend came along. She thought this PARTICULAR friend might be a good one to ask because she loves beaches, she likes to try new things, and has been doing a lot of fun excursions with her group of like minded lady friends lately. But I fully understand that CSS might not be the best fit for this situation. Really, I get it.

    So....................all points considered, we will not ask her. We don't really have any other married friends who would be into this adventure, so we will go it alone. Hopefully, my wife will get up the gumption to try Sunset Beach, but if not, that's fine. I don't want her to be uncomfortable.

  21. #21

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    Couples =/= Singles, Grouples, or Friendples

  22. #22

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    dsolid15... please assure your wife that she does not need an extra friend to feel comfortable on Sunset Beach. Really. She just needs the view across the water to the mountains, the cool flow of the White River rushing into the warm sea, the comfy lounger to relax in and most of all, YOU! (A couple of drinks wouldn't hurt either!) Most folks are nervous their "first-time", that's totally natural. I can assure you both that you will not experience a friendlier place and group of people than at Sunset Beach. It is the main of many reasons we return to Sans Souci each year. Look at it this way, you have the inclination and life presents precious few opportunities to really "step outside the box" of daily life. Take this one, early in your stay. What have you got to lose?

    Good luck to you two, and your friend. Possibly she will be headed to SSB in a year or two when she may again be a "couple".

  23. #23

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    (I know you already said you're not going to ask her but...)

    Knowing your reason helps - don't ask! - this could very well back fire because now you have 3 people to convince you should try AN - and if one friend is un comfortable then you're out of luck!

    As for your wife being nervous - have her read the message boards - lots of great advice from people who felt the same way.

    It sounds like what you need is to let your wife ease into being naked first, then being naked around people.

    Let her read all the advice about gong early etc.

  24. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by fabfifty View Post
    dsolid15... please assure your wife that she does not need an extra friend to feel comfortable on Sunset Beach. Really. She just needs the view across the water to the mountains, the cool flow of the White River rushing into the warm sea, the comfy lounger to relax in and most of all, YOU! (A couple of drinks wouldn't hurt either!) Most folks are nervous their "first-time", that's totally natural. I can assure you both that you will not experience a friendlier place and group of people than at Sunset Beach. It is the main of many reasons we return to Sans Souci each year. Look at it this way, you have the inclination and life presents precious few opportunities to really "step outside the box" of daily life. Take this one, early in your stay. What have you got to lose?

    Good luck to you two, and your friend. Possibly she will be headed to SSB in a year or two when she may again be a "couple".
    Thank you very much fabfifty. Your response is one of the nicest and most welcoming I have read here. I definitely want to step outside the box and try something fun and daring (yet legal), but obviously my wife will have to join me, and I hope she does. I work out incessantly at age 55, so I won't have any concern being on display, but my 53 year old wife doesn't quite have the same confidence level, although I don't know why, she still has a sexy body. I'm sure none of that matters anyway, with people of all ages, sizes and shapes enjoying the AN.

    In any event, I'm thinking those drinks will come in real handy! If you happen to be at SSB the last week of May, 2015, my wife (I hope) and I look forward to meeting you.

  25. #25

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    dsolid15- I've read all the responses, and think you must be pretty awesome to inquire for a friend, your concern sounds genuine. My husband and I were first-times just 2 weeks ago (insert sad face here) In response to your question about the female friend when we were there we did a female/female couple, and actually overheard their conversation that one of their husbands had planned a big hunting trip so she and her friend decided to take a trip and Couples is where they chose. I can't say that we ever saw them at the au-natural area, but for us it probably wouldn't of been a big deal if they were. We were there to judge just have a great time, meet new people and enjoy each other (most important). So, you could mention it to your friend and leave it up to her, then it's her call not yours. As far as the au-natural area, if your at all thinking about it, your almost there. We had never gone au-natural before except a few rare occasions in our backyard pool (too many teenagers here), so we wanted to try it. It was so awesome, we went the our first full day, right pretty much right after breakfast, and other than a mimosa we hadn't had any drinks before arrival. We went right to the pool, skipping the sand and were hooked after a few hours. We just made a agreement that if either of us felt uncomfortable for any reason we would leave. Well I have to say we met some of the kindest, nicest, fun people there. We fell in love with the bartender Tanisha who was awesome. I hope you and your wife at least try it, hopefully you'll love it. Whatever your friend decides is fine with me, we weren't there to judge people, and a couple is a couple. Just our opinion. Enjoy next May.!!!!

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