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  1. #26


    B and K This is priceless. Sounds kind of like when we tried the Bob Marleys one afternoon.

  2. #27


    Quote Originally Posted by Jimnmariann View Post
    B and K This is priceless. Sounds kind of like when we tried the Bob Marleys one afternoon.
    Ugg! LOL We managed to stay away from the "Bob Marleys" after seeing the faces of people right after they drink them. Hope you both enjoyed!

  3. #28


    Syl and I were doing a Trading Places day at CSS. A number of our friends came with us. The day was just the way you would expect to find it. Bright sun, little wind, calm waters.
    Later in the day, Syl and some others took out the floaties and they were out there for a while. Those of us on the beach, really wern't keeping track of anyone out in the water. They were all together. Well, no one noticed that everyone had come out of the water. Someone said to me, "Where's Syl"? I turned towards the water to look for her and she wasn't there. I asked some of the guys that were out there earlier is they has seen her. They said they had, but when they came out of the water, they wern't sure where she was.
    Now were all starting to freak out. We looked out across the water and she was nowhere in sight.
    Here's what happened.

    She fell asleep on the floatie and the wind carried her down towards Ocho Rios. We couldn't see her and she couldn't see the beach. When she woke up, took a look around and realized she wasn't at SSB. She didn't panic. She started to try and paddle back, but the current and the wind were against her. So she started to head for shore. Fortunatly, there was a man there who had seen her out on the ocean. At the time, he didn't know that she was naked. She comes ashore, tired as Hell. Took the floatie and wrapped it around her, sort of, and the two of them walked back to SSB.
    She was white as a ghost. She wondered why no one was looking for her. We had no idea what she had been through.

    Now when we go to TI or SSB, I have a long rope that I tether it to land, to make sure I don't lose her again.

  4. #29


    Well, if you liked that one, boys and girls, this one is even better.

    On one of our trips we went to swim with the dolphins. The day was rather overcast, on the cool side and the waters were choppy. We forged ahead. After all the entrance stuff is done, we head for a dock where all the life vests are. Everyone had to wear one. The dolphin pen consists of huge boulders that have been placed to wall off the ocean and so the dolphins won't escape. But even in the huge pool, the water was cloudy with sand being churned up from the bottom.

    Finally, everyone into the water. I think that we had 6 people in our group. There were others around the pool. So we get familiar with the dolphins. We pet them, hold their fins, look into their eyes. I really thought they were going to speak. Anyway, we having fun and forgot about how chilly we all felt. Next comes a big trick.
    The instructor gives us a long pole and tells us to hold it over our heads. We all get a piece of the pole and hoist it up. Then she told us to slap the water and the dolphin will come out of the water and jump over the pole. Awesome.

    We do as we are told and those two dolphins come flying out of the water and zoom over our heads. We're yelling and screaming, it was super. Okay, so we do it again, and we were just going crazy with laughter.
    the instructor said, "Seeing as it's a little cloudy and windy today, let's do the trick one more time". More yelling YEA. We all grab the pole, slap the water and out they come. They looked like silver bullets heading straight for us. And in fact, they were. Heading straight for us.
    Something in my brain computed that they had come out of the water to far away and they were'nt going to make it over our heads. I immedieatly pushed Syl to right, and the other person to my left and yelled "Look out". By that time it was to late. One of the dolphins did not make it over and it's tail hit Syl squarly in the head. She went limp. The only thing that was holding her up was the life vest. We all rushed over to her. Staff people came out of no where to help out. We put her on her back and floated over to where the vests were. Got her up on the deck. By this time she was aware of what was going on and was rubbing her head. She didn't look well.
    While we are all attending to her, the son of the owner of the dolphins, happened to be there that day and saw what happened. He took us to a quiet spot, got her some ice and made some tea and we made sure that Syl was really okay. the dolphin weighs about 550 pounds. If it weren't for the fact that when she was hit, she bobbed in the water, not absorbing the entire blow, the outcome could have been different. That saved her life.
    Now when people do the swim, you sign a waiver so that they are not responsible for any injuries. However, as we continued to speak with the owners son, I forget his name, he assured us, promiced us that they would take care of any medical we may have when we get home. He actually tore up the agreement that we had signed.
    On the ride back to CTI, Syl's head and neck were hurting. We saw the nurse too. I don't remember how many days we had left after the incident, but what ever it was, we stayed.
    The next day after we got home, Syl went to see our bone man. Some serious damage had been done to some of the vertabrea in her neck. It was a long year of chiropractor and thearapty and meds.
    Some time went by and we hear from the mother of that son. She is the owner. She tells us that they will not cover any medical expenses due to the "agreement". We told her that her son "promiced and assured" us that he would pay madical and they had no written "agreement". She overruled him.
    Correspondence went back and forth for a while. In the end, I told her that it would be unfortunate if I had to come back to Jamaica to serve her with court papers. I couldn't do anything from back home. And I told her that it would not be good publicity for her. I also made it clear that I was not sueing for pain and suffering, just cover the med. bills. And in the end, they did pay.
    The explanation that we got about the accident was that the waters were very choppy and cloudy. Dolphins use sonar to navigate. Because of all the interfernce, they misjudged the distance. Bang. It was only the second time a person was injured by the dophins. The other time, someone was rubbing the dolphin's belly. Everyone is told to take off any jewelry so that it doesn't irritate the dolphins tender skin. This person didn't do that and when he scratched the belly, it hurt and the dolphin punched him in the stomach. Knocked the wind out of him. Serves him right.
    .When friends asked how Syl got injured, and she tells them a dolphin hit her in the head, we get a lot of rolling eyes.
    During this whole ordeal, they were making a vidieo of the swim that we were going to buy. They gave us the vidieo for free, and they refunded our entrance fee. But when we got home to see the vidieo, they had cut out the part where she got hit.
    I would still reccomend the swim. It's exhilerating and lots of fun. I wouldn't worry about another mishap like this one.
    And no, Syl has no desire to go back.

  5. #30


    Crabracer Wow, Thanks for the stories.

  6. #31


    I have a couple of funnies.

    1. In 2004 there was a huge hot tub surrounded by bushes and trees where the pool now is (if you are at the back deck and look to the right). After a day on the island a group of 8 of us decided to hit the hot tub. There was a couple in the hot tub that asked if we'd been on the island. We said yes. The husband got all squirrely and told us he had to pee and nearly jumped out. His wife apologized and followed him leaving the 8 of us. We of course decided it would be fun to make it a naked hot tub so suits flew everywhere.

    We were talking and laughing and somehow the conversation turned to being tan or not and I told the group that my husband had the whitest butt ever, followed by a "show them honey!" Which he did. He stood up so all could see the whitest butt ever.

    This was unknowingly timed as an entertainment member was walking by with the orientation tour. While my husband was showing us his butt, they saw the otherside.

    We saw them and immediately started howling with laughter. I still like telling the story of how my husbands stuff was on tour.

    2. I had a job that left me quite a bit of downtime so I would visit the boards regularly. During this time I talked to some people in the meet up thread and posted a pic of my husband and I at dinner on the Verandah.

    A man who I had talked to knew we'd be there, recognized my husband at the bar on the island and greeted him with a friendly "Hi Dave!". My husband asked who he was and was told that I'd posted a pic on the boards. He immediately came over to me and asked "what kind of pictures are you posting on the message boards???". I don't know what he thought but I thought it was hysterical and regularly tell people to say hi to my husband when he's naked. LOL

  7. #32


    We got back to CTI from horseriding and our shoes were a mess. We took them off outside our room, and our key wouldn't work. So we went barefoot to the front desk to get a new key as we didn't want to track mud everywhere. We go back to our room and the key works, but our sneakers are gone. We were shocked - who would take two pair of smelly, muddy sneakers. We spoke with housekeeping, then with security and went to the front desk. We were afraid now that housekeeping had thrown them out. When we got back to our room, the shoes were there, but the key didn't work again. It dawned on us that we were on the wrong floor.

  8. #33


    Quote Originally Posted by ct ti fan View Post
    We got back to CTI from horseriding and our shoes were a mess. We took them off outside our room, and our key wouldn't work. So we went barefoot to the front desk to get a new key as we didn't want to track mud everywhere. We go back to our room and the key works, but our sneakers are gone. We were shocked - who would take two pair of smelly, muddy sneakers. We spoke with housekeeping, then with security and went to the front desk. We were afraid now that housekeeping had thrown them out. When we got back to our room, the shoes were there, but the key didn't work again. It dawned on us that we were on the wrong floor.
    Now that is funny.

  9. #34


    We'd been enjoying the sun au naturel at CN one afternoon and decided to head in for a swim to cool off. We ambled down to the water and started wading in. We were about knee deep when all of a sudden we heard great cheering and applause! We were hopeful that our time on the treadmill had really paid off, and turned around to see what was happening. And there, at the resort next door, was a large audience seated in chairs, cheering us on! Ooops, no, that was a wedding, with the groom kissing the bride! Never mind. We laughed and made our way into the warm ocean a bit less lazily, and watched the rest of the wedding from deeper water. Hopefully it made as funny a story for them as it has for us!

    R & S
    CSS '11, CN/CSS '12, CSS '13, CSS '14 soon come!

  10. #35


    Hubby and I were at CSS in 2011. We were walking around the resort and got to the hammock at the end of D block. Hubby said that he loves to chill out in hammocks and proceeeds to attempt to get into the hammock. He wasn't very careful about it and basically spun around, in the hammock and fell out with a loud thud, as if in a cartoon! I laughed so hard, I was doubled over and crying. I don't think anyone other than me actually saw him, but he's been VERY careful ever since then when attempting to lie down in a hammock!

    Steph & Jeremiah

  11. #36


    My lovely wife and I decided to tear ourselves away from our normal activity of being beach bums, and do the snorkel trip. I had passed by the dive shack on the way to our beach chairs and overheard that they didn't have a full boat. We decided to join in and make sure they had enough to make the trip happen for a few of the "newbie" couples, as to not disappoint. When we arrived the boat was apparently full, but the amazing dive crew waved us over, assuring us "Ya Mon, plenty room". we ran over to the dive shack to grab gear, wife got hers, and damn! no flippers for me. Much scrambling from the dive crew, frantic search, nope, no little blue flippers! Oh well, another time perhaps, no big deal. Suddenly one of the crew rolls up with a grin and hands me a pair of scuba flippers, and we're off!
    On the boat ride over, it was mostly nervous quiet from the newbies, and a few quick conversations here and there. About halfway to the snorkel grounds the giggling started, we didn't catch it at first, but when the crew started to give the safety speech, he kept referring to ME as the Master! He's the guy! It was then that we made the connection, the giggling and being singled out. All the guys are sitting on the bench holding the tiny little blue flippies, and here I am holding these gigantic, three foot long flippers! A few innuendos later, and we're all laughing. The rest of the week, I got waves, giggles, and even one salute.

  12. #37


    Hello everyone, this is my first post on this forum, and I'm a Couples Newbie - kind of. I thought this was a good thread to make my first post. Why not embarrass myself right off the bat?!

    We went to CSS about 14 years ago before it became a Couples - it was a Grand Lido at that time. One early evening DH and I headed back to our room to get ready for dinner after an afternoon of hanging out at the AN beach and pool. The mood struck and we decided to enjoy the view from our balcony while we, well you know. Nearly finished, we heard our room door and the turned around to see the room attendant walking into our room. We didn't feel like stopping and she went about her business turning down our sheets, etc. She must have been in that predicament before because she wasn't the least bit shocked or embarrassed! We were, but oh well we were on vacation!

    We're headed to Couples Negril in 7 weeks, so it will be our first official Couples vacation. We usually stay with Sandals (am I allowed to say that on here?!), but have heard really good things about Couples and are anxious to experience it for ourselves

  13. #38


    On our first visit to CSA, our first 'fancy' dinner was at Lemongrass. Our waiter (forgive me; can't recall his name), was great. We were the first couple seated and therefore were served first. When we received our bowls of soup, they were in the type of bowl that is lower in the front, higher in the back. The only utensils we had were chop sticks, so we weren't quite sure how to go about eating this bowl of soup. Since we were the first ones to get the soup, there was no one else to follow suit with. Due to the shape of the bowl, hubby suggested maybe you pick it up and sip from it. I thought about it but said no, I'm wearing a dress; I'm not lapping out of the bowl. So we both ended up picking up chunks of the soup with the chopsticks. We had almost finished when our waiter came over, laughing his butt off, handing us two soup spoons and saying, "So sorry mon! Here are your spoons!" We cracked up laughing with him. He said, "I looked over and thought, what are they doing, eating soup with chop sticks?!?" lolololol I wonder if he still laughs over the two stupid Americans eating soup like that. I know I do! I'm just glad we didn't go with hubby's suggestion of slurping directly from the bowl.

    Another day, we were enjoying the beach in the morning and the crowds were just starting to come in and fill up chairs. I'm a photographer and so I'm always snapping pictures. I decided since we were there for our 10th anniversary, I would write our names and "10 years" in the sand with a stick and take a picture. So I'm bent over, concentrating really hard on making this look cute, when all of the sudden my eye catches on my left breast, which is entirely exposed! Now, I know it's top-optional on the beach anyway, but I'm kind of a private person when it comes to certain body parts, so I was mortified. I started shoving the left breast back in my top, when all of the sudden my husband is laughing hysterically and gasping in between fits of laughter, "The other one! The other one!" - while I was busy adjusting the left, the right had decided to come out and join the party! I shoved that one in, too, gave up on the sand writing, and lay down on the beach chair, scarlet-faced. I made my husband circle me just to make sure I didn't have any nip slips happening anywhere, too, lol. Needless to say, that bikini top was retired after that day.

  14. #39

    Default Honeymooners + Seasickness

    My husband and I honeymooned at CTI last year. It was FANTASTIC and everyone we met kept telling us that the catamaran cruise was not to be missed. We both get a little motion-sick at times, but our sense of adventure was much stronger than our common sense... we didn't even take a Dramamine! ... so we get on board and get all excited... except I am feeling the rocking of the boat - while it is still tied up, mind you - and start thinking "oh man, this is NOT a good idea" but I didn't want to be a fun-sucker on my honeymoon! Turns out my husband was having the exact same thoughts, but neither of us said anything. We set sail and about 20 minutes in, I turned to him and said "This is not good. I am going to be sick." He looks at me and is already green. So we did actually "make it" through heading out to sea, then when they turned back to go to that cove, I asked one of the crew how long it would be till we stopped to swim. I was hoping for "just a few seconds" but he said "about fifteen minutes or so" and I gave up trying to hold back - I bent over the side of the boat and threw up. Husband was a close second over the back of the boat and we took turns throwing up for the rest of the cruise... the only reprieve I had was I jumped in the water when we stopped and felt instantly better - when the crew told us we had to get back on the boat to head back, I was almost in tears - I kept offering to swim to shore and walk back, or catch a cab, but obviously they wouldn't hear of it and just took care of us as much as they could (ice chips to suck on and a bucket to help out!).. .they were very nice (and actually, the water was rough enough that one of the crew was down in the bottom of the catamaran because HE was seasick... that made me feel a little better)... but it was super embarrassing to be vomiting in front of all these other cruisers - we figured they thought we were drunk! haha ... By the time the boat docked, hubby and I were shivering and wrapped in towels and they let us off early - we staggered past the huge "welcome back" crowd and went to our rooms to shower and sleep for about 3 hours... we DID rally and get dressed and go to dinner that night, so it wasn't a complete loss!! Bad judgment on our part. Everyone else was having a BLAST - it does look like an awesome event - if you aren't prone to motion sickness!!

    Making plans to go to CN or CSA this next winter for our 2nd anniversary! Can't wait to come home!!

    Thanks for the stories - I am laughing my head off.

  15. #40


    It would have to be one of the very first times we went to AN beach at CN about 10 years ago. I wasn't very comfortable with baring all (yet) and we were sitting in the only piece of shade available and as far away from other people as possible. This also happened to be close to the textile side and where they have weddings. We're laying there enjoying the shade when this couple comes down to get married. The way they were standing the poor bride and groom just didn't know where to look since they were facing us. It was very obvious they were trying very hard not to look at us while saying their vows. each other....back at us....up.....down.....back at could literally see them thinking "Oh God, don't look, don't look, don't look". Seeing them squirm I told my hubby we needed to take a swim so this poor couple could actually enjoy their wedding. Nothing like looking at naked people while saying your vows. Weewane can attest to that! We still laugh every time we think about it. I bet they do too! Fortunately they have since extended the barrier at CN.
    CN 2003, 2006, 2013
    CSS 2010, 2011, 2012, 2014
    There's no place like home in Jamaica!

  16. #41


    After the excursion to Margaritaville, four of us stopped by the Patois restaurant at CSA for a late supper. One fried ordered soup, which was served in a round bottomed bowl perched precariously on a trio of sticks.

    I don't know what practical joker thought up this serving contraption, but serving soup this way to someone who has been drinking is a sure way to cause a spill. The worst part was not the spill itself, but the fact that we couldnt stop laughing at our poor friend, who had been warning the rest of us that we probably had enough to drink.

    The results were predictable, but the funny part was that it was the least drunk person of our past that spilled her soup.

  17. #42


    Not sure if most embarrassing or funniest, but certainly one of the most memorable for us. On our first trip to Couples (CN), left early, got upgraded to First Class so had a couple of drinks, arrived and had a couple of beers in the Couples lounge, drank some Red Stripe on the shuttle, and had a couple more Red's after arriving at CN. It was too late to get reservations on the cat that day but was told to go down and if there are no-shows we could get on -- and we did.

    Started drinking rum punch and from that point on I only know what I was told. Understand that I was pole dancing, had several people help my wife get me back to the room. Next morning going to breakfast, a number of folks ask how I was feeling, etc. When I ask my wife about one of the comments, she said "she was one of the one that helped you back to the room". Never mix beer and rum punch... A one time experience and never again!

  18. #43


    Quote Originally Posted by winlove View Post
    Started drinking rum punch...Understand that I was pole dancing...Never mix beer and rum punch...
    I'm not sure what my excuse was winlove...maybe it was the rum punch.
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  19. #44

    Default funniest

    I was staying at CSA.....every morning at 7 o'clock my coffee was delivered to my room by the same girl. But on the 6th day... 7:15 no coffee.. 7:20 no coffee..the telephone rang once one answered.......then the phone rang again. When i was the same girl,,,and she said can you come down stairs and pick up your coffee....I said sure but why..she said because there is a lizard on your door....I said you're afraid of a lizard?..and she said this is the biggest lizard she ever saw... so I said ok i'll be right down...when i went to open my door I i opened it just a little and gave a peek. I saw nothing....i stepped out, looked up over my head..and on the ceiling..was the biggest king tubby of all lizards i ever saw in Jamaica...I ran down the stairs and told her it's chasing me...she put the tray with the coffee down on the grass and ran away...What a great way to start a day in Jamaica........................................... .................................................t o all my friends see you 3/12....css.......tommy &Cathy

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