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  1. #1

    Default Frustrated and dont know what to do!

    Me and my fiancee just currently found out that he did not get his vacation time off for our honeymoon next May. I dont know what to do! We have already paid it in full and I dont want to change anything. Of course we havent booked our flight due to them being not available until August.
    My concern is we can still go but, he would have to use his sick days and if he does that then will get written up for it.
    What should we do? I think he just needs to suck to up and call in sick on those days and go on our honeymoon. I mean this is a once in a lifetime experience and we only get married and have a honeymoon once.

  2. #2


    Here's what I did. The following was written right after I quit my job over vacation for my honeymoon. I'm not saying he should quit his job, but take the sick days and let them write him up over it. A wedding and honeymoon is (or should be) a once in a lifetime experience.

    Well, I Had to Quit My Job!

    Over one day of vacation for our honeymoon.

    I had requested 9 days of vacation for the wedding and honeymoon last November (2005), 6 months prior to the wedding. This was accepted. Then, in January, we booked the honeymoon at Couples Negril, Jamaica. We ended up leaving a day later and spending a day or two more than originally planned. We get back from Jamaica on Tuesday evening, and I was scheduled to be back at work Wednesday morning. Since I also have to move out of my house and into Vicki’s in West Liberty, I requested an additional 3 days vacation, giving me Wednesday through Sunday after the honeymoon off to move. This was refused because my boss’s boss rarely approves more than 10 consecutive days of vacation for anyone, anytime. Plus, this is our “busy time”. She is my boss’s new boss, as of about a month ago…new to our department. I would figure a wedding and honeymoon would be a special occasion that they may bend the rules a little for, but I guess not.

    Then, I had requested a half a day vacation (2005 carryover vacation that has to be taken by the end of March). It was approved, but with the stipulation that my work was going well, because this is our “busy time”. So, I asked about the other 3 days of 2005 vacation that I carried over, partially because December was our “busy time” and it was not a good time to take vacation. I was told that I could not take these three days in February, because (you guessed it), this is our “busy time”. I was told that I may be able ton tale them in March, but only if I took them singly and not two or more in a row, and then only if my work was going well. Remember now, we have tons of work to do and not enough staff to get it all done, but that’s not my problem.

    Okay, I’m getting a bit upset, but not at my breaking point yet. Then, about a week later, it dawned on me that I had only 9 days approved at honeymoon time and that I was told that 10 was the normal maximum. So, I requested one additional day for the Wednesday after the honeymoon. This was refused with the following written statement from my boss: “Wally, I cannot approve past the 9 consecutive days I approved in November. You can take more in June.” Not even a day or two later on May to move? I replied that I thought she has said her boss would approve 10 consecutive days. I got the following reply: “I talked with Annette Smith. It is rare for her to allow someone to take two weeks or more of vacation at one time. In addition, with our release cutoff not until 6/5/2006 it could leave us in a bind with having a team member gone this long at one time.”

    Now, Vicki and I have been meeting with my investment guy and he figured I could retire at 58 (I’ll was 57 at the time), with a higher income than I have now. He figured a very conservative return on investments, and projected me running out of money after I turn 93.

    So…I said (to myself) “one day will put you in a bind? How about permanently?” I talked to Vicki that evening and she said she would support my decision to quit, so I did! My last day was the day after my 57th birthday.
    <font size=2>
    CN 2006, CSS 2009, CN 2009, CN 2010, CTI 2010, CN 2011, CSS 2012, CN 2012, CN 2013, CSA 2014, CN 2014, CSA 2015, CN 2015, CN 2016, CN 2018, CN2019

  3. #3


    Personally, I wouldn't work for anyone who wouldn't let me have off for my honeymoon with one year advance notice. I would look for a new job, and if I didn't find one, I would go on my honeymoon anyway and worry about it when I got back. Good Luck.

  4. #4


    I agree with you! I mean you know what is best for you both. As long as there is not a chance of him loosing his job I say go for it. Couples is beautifal and totaly worth it. May I ask what your husband does ? I know with my job if you have already booked something and have money invested they have to give you off or pay you for any money lost due to making you work.. Has he told them it is already booked ? Just have him call in and say he is taking sabbatical

    Sabbatical or a sabbatical (from Latin sabbaticus, from Greek sabbatikos, from Hebrew shabbat, i.e., Sabbath, literally a "ceasing") is a rest from work, or a hiatus, often lasting from two months to a year.

  5. #5


    Do they know y'all are planning your honeymoon?
    I'm pretty sure Couples will let you move your dates around.
    I would not call in sick if I wasn't sick, but that's just me.
    Yes, it is a once in a lifetime event, tho try not to let your emotions get the best of you...I am speaking from experience! lol
    g/l & congrats!

    CSA 2009, 2014 [20th anniversary]
    CSS 2010
    CN 2011
    CTI 2017 [50th birthday & 23rd anniversary], 2019 [25th anniversary]

  6. #6


    So he has given them over a year's advance notice and they are still denying it? Can he take his request to a higher supervisor? I don't know the nature of his job, but I'm surprised that they can't accomodate it when he has put in his request so far in advance and it's for your HONEYMOON!

    Couples is pretty flexible on changing dates though - I might try compromising and delay your honeymoon for a week or so, if that means work would approve it.

  7. #7


    I know you are anxious for a honeymoon immediately after your wedding, but stop and think before you ask your future husband to do something that may jeopardize his career. Abuse of policy, taking sick days for other than health reasons could be just that, could wind up leading to him losing his job. Not a great way to start a married life together. It is not a matter of just "sucking it up". In my opinion you are putting him in a terrible position to either please his future wife or to follow the rules of his employer. Either decision leaves him in a bad light with someone. I think you are the one that needs to "suck it up" and delay the honeymoon till he can clear the vacation time with his employer. It will not do you any harm to wait a bit for your honeymoon trip. If you watch the message board here you will find many, many, many folks that are going to Couples for a honeymoon that has been delayed. Anywhere from a few days, weeks or months to folks like my wife and I that waited till our 25th anniversary to take a "honeymoon".

    Please don't put this pressure on your fiance at this early stage of your relationship. A honeymoon will not make or break your marriage. It is all about making compromise and sacrifice for the good of the both of you, from both sides. If you are not prepared to put in this kind of effort then I have some concern for your future together. I don't mean to sound preachy or condescending, but I really believe you need to think about what is good for the both of you and your long term future in making decisions together. Honestly, the honeymoon can wait and it will just make it that much more special for the both of you.

    Do what you will, and good luck.

  8. #8


    Sounds like a crappy employer. I'd fix that first.
    "One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain" - Bob Marley

  9. #9


    OMG that sucks and BIGTIME!!! How can someone not get their vacation time off that far away? I am part owner of a company and we would never deny someone their time off period so I just dont understand why he is not getting his time off and why if he calls in sick that he would be written up for this? that just sucks and I am soooo sorry that you guys are going thru this!! YES you only get married once and have a honeymoon once so I say go for it but sure hate to have to see you guys pay for it or atleast him pay for it when you guys get home!! Is there no way for him to talk reasonably to someone(boss) and explain the situation? I just cant see someone denying anyone their dream of getting married and having a honeymoon! I mean seriously..........someone should give him time off....heaven forbid its a year away!!! Good luck and keep us informed honey!!

  10. #10


    It sounds like your fiance has a pretty crappy job and boss if they won't let him have time off for his honeymoon. If he can get the time off later in the year you should just switch your reservation since you have not booked the flight yet. Hope everything works out!!

  11. #11


    Since they already know he wanted that time off, but denied him, might they skip the written warning and go straight to termination?

  12. #12


    I'd be more concerned if he might get fired. Jobs are very hard to come by in this economy. A honeymoon is not worth losing a job. He might check with his boss and find out when he can get time off and change the wedding date. You are far enough out that you should be able to change the date. Otherwise, many couples have not been able to take their honeymoon immediately after their wedding. Some have to wait months or even years. I'd suggest you either change the date of the wedding to match his vacation or take a delayed honeymoon. Be a bit flexible and everything will work out.
    Juliann & Jeff
    Jamaica Soon Come

  13. #13


    So you have a whole year to make the changes you need. My gut reaction was: He should look for a different employer!! LOL! If that is not possible, you can change your honeymoon dates...lots of people take delayed honeymoons. Whatever you do, don't go somewhere besides Couples!! Lots of luck.

  14. #14


    Maybe he can trade shifts with someone else or a few people. What does he do that he can request time off a year in advance? It seems crazy that he was denied too! Not only is he giving a years notice, but it's for a good reason too!

  15. #15

    Default Only you can answer this one I'm afraid...

    Hi there

    I can certainly understand your frustration but in my opinion this is one of those situations that only you can answer. Having said that, here's my two cents....

    Obviouslly I have no idea where you work but it seems ridiculous that you can't get a vacation request approved when made a year in advance??? That being said, I do work in the Human Resources industry and would be lying if I said I would recommend taking sick days to make this happen. Of course every organization has different policies and procedures, union agreements, and some are a lot more lienent when it comes to this type of thing then others, but I can assure you that if someone came to me with a formal vacation request that was denied (for whatever reason) and then called in sick on those same days, they would receive a lot more then a written reprimand.

    I realize that your honeymoon is a once in a life time opportunity but it shouldn't come at a cost of jeopardizing your reputation and opportunities for career advancement. I realize this may not be what you want to hear but you did put it out there so......

    My suggestions would be to try to talk to your agent (did you by any chance book with Couples direct?) and see if you can move your dates. Additionally, if you haven't already done so, perhaps explaining to your manager that the request is for your honeymoon and that the vacation is already booked. Perhaps something can be done to accomodate your request given the circumstances?

    Good luck with this! I hope it works out for you.


  16. #16


    I don’t understand why someone wouldn’t be granted vacation time if the request was submitted a year in advance, but I suggest that your fiance figure out when his employer will grant him vacation time and that you reschedule your honeymoon.

    I would never advocate lying to one’s employer. A week-long absence due to illness would be excessive unless he has medical documentation, and unexplained excessive absences and lying both constitute employment misconduct that would justify his termination and render him ineligible to receive unemployment benefits. Is the job market in your area such that he could quickly find another job if fired?

    If his supervisor is simply unreasonable about granting vacation time, then your fiance should talk to his H.R. department or look for another job.

    It’s completely understandable that you want to go on your honeymoon, but it’s irresponsible to ask your future husband to do something that could cause him to lose his job. The first year of marriage is stressful for a lot of couples; adding unemployment and a loss of income to the mix could add to that stress.
    I know everything, and I'm always right (just ask my husband).

  17. #17


    You can always change your dates with Couples if that works. I can't believe that for Honeymoon and a years notice they can't accommodate him. What sort of place does he work at?

  18. #18


    How would you like to start your new marrage with an unemployeed husband? He could get fired for lying about being sick... I hope you find another way to make this happen, as I would hate for you to start out that way. Good Luck!

  19. #19


    What kind of boss does he have who won't approve time off for a honeymoon???
    Especially with 12 months advance notice?

    Although, when my wife requested the time off for our trip in November, her boss wouldn't approve it, as my wife hadn't (yet) accrued sufficient vacation time. While my boss (at the same company) went ahead and approved my time off...

    Does where your fiancee work give vacation all at once at the start of the year (or on hire date) or do they accrue the time off? If the latter, maybe that's why it wasn't approved?


  20. #20


    My personal advice for this situation is this: If the sick days are available and there is no danger of job loss or permanent disciplinary action against your Fiancee from the company he works for he should go for it. Your wedding/honeymoon are moments you will remember for the rest of your lives and they should be enjoyed. However with the economy being what it is and the jobless rate at its current level if there is a threat of job loss I would hate to see you struggle with that so soon after getting married.

    My 2 cents for what it is worth.

    I wish you all the luck in the world with resolving this and hope things work out to allow you the time at Couples to enhance and enjoy your love and time together.

  21. #21


    Having a job allows for vacations at Couples...Sorry,but I would not try to mess with work.


  22. #22


    I think I would make sure I took out the trip insurance and aggressively look for a new job. Glad I don't have to deal with a headache like this it's my vacation time I use it when I want and my co could care less, thank god.
    Erika & Sean

  23. #23


    Sorry - I agree with Dirtleg, Pamela and Tommywommy..... please don't let your emotions cause you to make a decision you will regret.

  24. #24


    I agree this sucks but I would not jeopodize my job in this economy for what is essentially a vacation.
    I would also say that lying to your employer is a great way to derail your career.

  25. #25


    Having read some of the other replies, I guess my next suggestion would be, have him find out when he *can* get the time off, get it approves, and reschedule the honeymoon.

    Not the wedding, as you've probably got guests already setting up their plans for it!
    There's no rule that says the honeymoon *has* to be immediately after the wedding! If you go a month of two later, so what? It's still you and he celebrating your new life together, plus it gives you time to get organized after the wedding.

    But, it's not worth him potentially losing his job over it!


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