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  1. #1

    Default CSS Review on TA - My stomach hurts!

    I just read a new review on Trip Advisor that has literally left me with a sore stomach from laughing! The reviewer gave the resort 4 stars out of 5 but the comments are priceless. It is entitled " Service at an Arm's Distance." It is written by a doctor. For those of you that don't want to read the entire thing, here are the highlights:

    This couple do not drink alcohol and he states that it cost extra to have his mini bar restocked with more non alcoholic beverages. Really?

    The entertainment was too loud ( he could hear it from his room)
    The entertainment was not conducive to dancing.
    The entertainment, if it were conducive to dancing, would have been great for in room dancing. WHAT?

    The portion sizes were too small. His orange juice was no more than 120cc's! Really Doc? I always prefer more cc's too.

    The water served at Cassanova was "nearly ambient temperature."

    The resort should have informed him prior to arrival that they had in room wifi.

    He loved the property but the spas, pools and ponds were "inexplicably closed at night with very poor lighting!"

    The Couples lounge at the airport was "disorganized and wasteful" especially for non drinkers.

    The rooms do not conform to ADA standards due to uneven tile.
    (Isn't the ADA the American Dental Association?)

    Only a few rooms have jacuzzis and you should ask when making reservations. (no kidding)

    The showers accommodate 2 but "in a minimalistic way." HUH?

    Check out is like "herding." "Everyone goes to the airport whether they need to or not." - I swear this is a quote, I could't make this up!)

    He suggests "a shortened and more controllable segment from resort to plane would be appreciated." It took too long for him to get home.

    Reviews like this are the reason so many of us answer questions on this board and on other sites. I cannot imagine going anywhere without doing my research first. It's half the fun!


  2. #2

    Default hahaha

    ADA is the "Americans with Disabilities Act" which surprisingly enough only applies to things actually in the US. Some Americans shouldn't be allowed out of the country...I swear, there should be a test lol

  3. #3


    Bet the doc does not have the stones to post that here...

  4. #4


    LMAO, that was the craziest review I've ever read! I think with ADA he was refering to the American with Disabilities Act, but the resort is in JAMAICA, not the US! Why would they need to comply? Too funny! I'd love to see a management response to this one

  5. #5


    And, I bet his ice cream was cold too!!! Bla, bla, bla.

    Walk a couple of blocks off the resort and see how the rest of the country is living. We must open our eyes to see...

    That life is good

  6. #6


    I guess there's always someone who has to complain about everything. It's too bad that they spend all of their time finding fault and griping rather than enjoying what the resort has to offer.
    What impressed me the most about the Couples experience, was that not only were the staff friendly and rubbed off on the guests. All those we met at CTI in January, were smiling, chatting, and saying hello as you walked by. These people probably kept their head down and frowned upon anyone who said "good morning". Oh well, their loss that they couldn't appreciate all that Couples had to offer.

  7. #7


    It was a very laughable review. But in all fairness, he still gave CSS 4/5 stars.

    Bruce and Kelli
    Kalamazoo, Michigan
    CN 2006, 2008; CTI 2009, 2010, 2011
    CSA 2014; JRB 2015; CSS 2017

  8. #8


    Breaking News: Man on Tripadvisor has Opinions!!

    My favorite part was when he concluded that he and his wife should probably stay at “stateside” resorts from now on.

    I could not agree more! Some people just aren't cut out for travel anywhere. Especially to such a challenging and arduous destination as CSS.

  9. #9


    haha. I did read that on Trip Adviser. I just laughed. Really, you are pretty much entitled to as much food and drink as you want. So if you are still thirsting for some more OJ, then just order more!! lol
    Amanda & Chris
    Edmonton, AB

    "Were Coming HOME with our Jamaican Crew Oct 12, 2011"

  10. #10


    I think the piece at the end summed it up.

    Despite the negative observations on some points, there were enough good points to make us overall actually pleased with our trip. The ability to have a getaway where we were not overwhelmed with crowds of noisy kids, agendas and deadlines and a very beautiful, serene and romantic setting was highly valuable to us. In the future given the difficulties in changing reservations and the difficulties travelling there and back, and some of the other points we made here, we will probably chose stateside resorts more often than returning to CSS.
    I think these are people who are more comfortable staying in the US.

  11. #11


    Well LA DEE FREAKIN DA...!

  12. #12


    That is funny. I will have to track down the review on TA and read the whole thing.

    Being and educated person (Dr.?) he should have realized that ADA standards apply to buildings and businesses in the USA for crying out loud. Last I looked Jamaica is still an independent nation that does not have to follow our regulations for building access or anything else.

    I also like the "herding" comment. I suppose he expected a private car to take him to the airport at his leisure. Or perhaps he expects them to move the resort closer to the airport to shorten the "segment".


  13. #13


    OMG! You have me laughing with this one. I think I'll make some popcorn later and go and read it. I haven't caught up on my TA reviews lately.
    Funny how the good ones get boring though, since they're all so similar, raving about the resort... "fabulous, amazing, fantastic..." ya ya ...LOL.
    It's the bad ones that are entertaining. I just feel bad for people who actually believe that negative crap and might decide not to go. Oh what they'd miss out on!

  14. #14


    I read the trip advisor reviews as well. Some of the people are amazing.

  15. #15


    No doubt a proctologist, with his own head stuck up his (!)

  16. #16


    Now that I have read through the review for the umpteenth time, I think I have a new perspective on it. The doc really had to reach to find anything to complain about, just like the rest of us. We could give him points for originality. At least he didn't say the sand was too sandy. Can someone explain to me what a "minimalistic shower" is?

  17. #17


    Greetings to all:

    The best way to combat some of the nonsense on TripAdvisor is for you to post your own "real" review. We know we cannot please 100% of our guests 100% of the time.

    That said, there are reasons why we continue to be amongst the highest rated resorts in the Caribbean.

    'Nuff said!

    Couples Resorts

  18. #18


    And if you think about it, if EVERYONE loved Couples as much as we do, then we wouldn't be able to get a room! The only time I get upset with a review is when they refer to a staff member, especially one I know. Then it gets personal.

  19. #19


    There used to be a thread on the negril forum on TA about the craziness of some reviews where people where just being fecicious and making fun of those who post thing like this saying thing like the beer is to cold, the sand too sandy, the rum too strong, the did too spicy. It was hilarious.
    Erika & Sean

  20. #20


    Well said Randy!
    The only ADA that I've heard of is The American Dental Association but the again, I live in Canada. Too many american toothpaste commercials!

  21. #21


    Hopefully all the negative people will read this and not book outside the US. This gives me more freedom to go and enjoy ourselves. Its hard to keep Couples a secret. Just being selfish, I guess!

  22. #22


    Quote Originally Posted by randymon View Post
    greetings to all:

    The best way to combat some of the nonsense on tripadvisor is for you to post your own "real" review. We know we cannot please 100% of our guests 100% of the time.

    That said, there are reasons why we continue to be amongst the highest rated resorts in the caribbean.

    'nuff said!
    :d :d
    Art xo Francine

  23. #23


    Quote Originally Posted by randymon View Post
    Greetings to all:

    The best way to combat some of the nonsense on Trip Ad. is for you to post your own "real" review.
    I agree! Trip A. is subjective and everything you read there will not be glitter and gold. I have posted on Trip Ad. after every all inclusive I have ever been to (9 total not including Couples)!

    Though it has not been the case about the Couples I've visited (and obviously not the case for all of you!), some poor/bad reviews on Trip A. do actually give you information that is sometimes very helpful. If you are on that site enough, it is easy to tell what to believe and what not...for example, the review in question!

    I actually LOVE Trip A! That is where I found out about Couples and for years dreamed of going there but could not afford to! I often looked at the huge amount of pics posted there and read some of the reviews in hopes of going someday! When I had finally booked CTI, I literally read every review up to the grand reopening.

    It helped me to know what to expect (most of which was true)! In a few more weeks I will have my 2nd visit to CTI and I still read the Trip A. posts literally up to the night before I leave.

    The last time I was at CTI, I posted my review on Trip Advisor. It was entitled, "Lovely" because it truly was. I recently removed it to make way for my upcoming review and pics when I return.

    I love the Couples website and am very glad I stumbled upon it. However, you can be honest (be it good or bad) about how you feel on Trip A. without it being edited. this Couples website is PRO Couples as it should be because they are promoting their resorts. Yes there are a few rediculous posts on Trip A., but more than not MOST are helpful.

    BTW...20 days, 19 hours, 15 minutes

    One Love,

  24. #24


    That guy is a riot. It almost makes me wonder if he really went. How can the juice and milk portions be different when they are served in the same glass?

    I also don't believe that he heard the nightly music from his room. We were in 'D' building and didn't hear anything. He was in 'B' Building and heard the music? No way! Perhaps on the night of the gala and beach party.

    He is obviously one of those people that you can never please. I sure would hate to work for him or be his wife! Ewwww!

    Scott says he wonders if the guy was sent to the resort intentionally to write a negative review and this was all he could figure out. Pretty sad.
    Juliann & Jeff
    Jamaica Soon Come

  25. #25


    Okay, so I am bored and decided to take a look at the review. Well, I got even more bored reading it. Not sure what he is a "doctor" of, but it must have something to do with hot air.

    Also read one on CTI. The person didn't have a view of the ocean and island, only the swim up bar and pool. All I can say to that is the reviewer must have had his "beer goggles" on considering the swimup bar and pool is seaside.

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